I wouldn’t be here if not for art
The MoCAF sign on a wall with Sir Robert Alejandro’s exhibited works on the left
On the last day of July this year, I attended the Art as Essential to Survival: Healing through the Arts Workshop, one of the dialogues at the first ever Modern and Contemporary Art Festival (MoCAF). The talk was held in a small and intimate conference room at Fairmont Makati.
I was a little late to the workshop, so it had become a standing room. I didn’t mind, for I had trained myself for these kinds of things: if I liked something, I wouldn’t mind the pain.
The workshop’s presenter was Magis Creative Spaces, a center for healing and learning through the expressive arts. I have a long story with Magis that dates back to sometime in 2012 (that’s 10 years ago!), but that’s for another time. Last 2021, I wanted to get better, so I tried their free 15-minute consultation, and from there, I got started with psychotherapy and counseling.
When I saw that they’d be having this workshop with Sir Robert Alejandro (!!!) and Dr. Gina Alfonso, an Expressive Arts Therapist and Founder of Magis (it was my first time to see her in person, as well as Magis friends Ms Adi and TJ!), I knew I had to attend. The night before the workshop, I purchased an online ticket for MoCAF, and the day after that, walked to the venue with high hopes.
Some of Sir Robert’s new works for MoCAF
I stood by the door, along with other people lining up the walls of the room, as we listened and looked at Sir Robert creating a mindfulness drawing. He had this small bag on the table, projected onto the screen so that everybody could look at it as a reference, while they, too, worked on their own mindfulness drawings.
Sir Robert drawing!!
He told us about how it invites us to be present with ourselves, to enjoy what we’re doing, and “Kebs lang!” if the drawing doesn’t look objectively right.
Sir Robert showing photos that were submitted or shared by people who also did mindfulness drawings like him before!
He invited us to do this activity as well when we’re just by ourselves, and earlier this morning before getting some work done, I grounded myself by making some art. No music, no distractions—just me, Kraft paper, some colored pencils, and the things around me.
While drawing, I didn’t think too much about my worries, the strain in my eyes that I’ve been feeling for a while, and other stuff. I just wanted to breathe again through art.
Mindfulness drawings ask us to observe an object and then to draw it.
During the workshop, I loved what Dr. Gina said as a response to one of the attendees, and it was to not label ourselves too much with diagnoses or strong feelings. That helped me to detach my identity, self-perception, and beliefs from sad or worrying feelings that I have.
I also love how Sir Robert shared about his story, being diagnosed with cancer, and his joy when volunteering and drawing. If not for the public venue, I would have cried then and there. Sir Robert is one of our organization’s, Ang Ilustrador ng Kabataan, founding members, and I’m fortunate enough to have listened to him in person during our org’s meetings before! I’m just one of the countless people that he has inspired, and my heart is full and happy to see him still creating even with all the things that he has gone through. One could truly see the joy and love in his eyes and smile and tears.
Towards the end of the workshop, Dr. Gina shared some slides of the paintings that Sir Robert made for MoCAF. She invited the workshop participants to list down a word for each, and then when it was done, she asked them to make a poem out of the words that everyone had listed for themselves, and this poem would be given to Sir Robert. It was such a kind act, and I’m sure it was a good way for the attendees to thank Sir Robert for all that he has inspired in them throughout the years and until that Sunday afternoon.
Two of Sir Robert’s newest works at MoCAF
With Sir Robert opening his feelings and stories to us, his honesty and warmth encouraged others to share their own stories too. It reminded me that we should be kind, patient, and understanding of one another, because we do not know how much pain the other is holding in their heart. One wrong move or word, passing of judgment—these could make or break them. We must be forgiving, accommodating, and empathetic to each other as we create more safe spaces for us all to just be ourselves. This is our first life, and we’re all still learning how to live and to be kind, aren’t we?
I walked away after the workshop with a full heart and the desire to inspire others to embrace making art for themselves, as a means to understand themselves better (or the world), to heal, and to cope. This, in turn, would encourage others to do the same.
Art is for everyone, just as being saved and being okay are for everyone.
Being naturally shy, introverted, and quiet, I kept myself to books, writing, and drawing. When I was in high school and I had become more aware about making art, I would describe it with these three words: “Channel of expression.”
I couldn’t fully express myself in spoken words, so I turned to drawing, painting, and making new worlds out of nothing…
“Art is communication.”
― Madeleine L'Engle, Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art
Ask yourself: when you're making art, what is it that the artwork is communicating to you, and ask yourself: what is it that your soul is trying to convey to you?
When I was sad, I would draw a person who was by herself. (I realize too that my drawings were more detailed when I was sad.) When I was angry, it showed in the quick brushstrokes or hard pencil marks pressed onto the grains of the paper.
When I was going through one of the toughest moments in my life several years ago, I channeled my experience into writing and creating a comic called ‘Surrender.’
When I was tired after working at my job before, I started a watercolor painting series I did called “Black Against, Black Above” where I paint colors first onto paper followed by black strokes to show my subject. I put all my stress there, and just like that, the paper absorbed my exhaustion and my worries the way it absorbed the water from my brush. The whole activity made me feel calm.
When I can’t get out of bed, when my fears and anxieties wash over me, when old narratives and memories haunt me, the possibility of me making more books and art give me reasons to keep on living and to keep on hoping.
Music, too, embraces me like a blanket when I’m wallowing in my thoughts. Singing with a guitar by myself permits me to be and to enjoy something for the fun of it and the joy it brings to me. When our cats are nearby and a good song plays, I pick one of them up, and we dance a little, move a little, in the hopes that I can shake off the sadness that hangs onto my shoulders every now and then.
All throughout my short life, art has saved me, and it has healed me. And now it has even become my bread and butter. It helps me make a living. But what I want to focus more on here is art-making to heal oneself.
I wish that everybody could find it in themselves to include making art or looking at art a part of their lives. Writing and drawing… These are some of the ways we acknowledge and record our humanity, memories, thoughts, feelings, hopes, and fears.
“Fears about artmaking fall into two families: fears about yourself and fears about your reception by others.”
― David Bayles, Art and Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking
I pray that they let go of the notion that one has to be ‘good’ to be called an ‘artist,’ because I sincerely believe that everyone is an artist; we are all capable of making beautiful things from how we see the world through our eyes. I pray that they make art, because they enjoy it or they see it as a means to survive every single day.
“If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh
Art has kept me tethered to life. Without art, I wouldn’t be here. And without the people who have believed in what I created and wrote, without my parents and family who supported me in this path, without the friends and mentors by my side, I wouldn’t be here.
Just like Sir Robert said:
“I want to thank the arts—my muse and constant companion. I am here alive, living the best life I can possibly have because of her. The arts. My savior, my joy, my life.”
Art is our friend.
I hope you get to befriend it and hold it closely to your heart, because art wants to be your friend too.