With the Dragonflies

Watercolor, pastel, and pencil on brown recycled paper, Sept. 2018

Ang Ilustrador ng Kabataan‘s theme for our annual art exhibit at INKFest was conquering our deepest fears. I had a hard time doing this, to be honest.

What my deepest fear was, I didn’t know.Or maybe I was not acknowledging or thinking about it too much. I had to search for a “What is your deepest fear” personality test on Google to see what it was.I answered two tests, and they gave me two different answers: both of which affirmed something I already knew within way before.

I was afraid of the death of a loved one and rejection.

Being an only child, it’s scary to think about the former. Growing up shy and insecure, it’s piercing to think about the latter.

“Conquering our fears…” I thought about the death of someone I love, and I wonder, can that even be conquered? That kind of fear?

Rejection was manageable – given some time – to be conquered but death?

I thought about how I can illustrate this concept, this conquering of both death and rejection. And then I thought: what about dragonflies? Since January 2018, I’ve been seeing them – real, as an illustration, or the word itself. And on our way to Fullybooked BGC earlier for INKFest, I saw another dragonfly.

It must be nice to just look at dragonflies at a field. You’re just there with them. Present. All your attention towards them. Being in the moment.

And that’s it.

Being in the moment with the dragonflies, with the people you love. Life is the field and the people are the dragonflies, the butterflies, the birds, and you’re just standing there with them.

“Life is precious, because there is death” as a saying goes. So in every day I live, I want to pay attention, be appreciative and thankful, and just love the people in front of me.