How to Make Writing Less Solitary
“Indeed, the great paradox of the writer’s life is how much time he spends alone trying to connect with other people.” — p. 36, The Forest of the Trees: An Editor’s Advice to Writers by Betsy Lerner
A writer spends most of the time in her head, with the characters she’s still getting to know and the world she’s trying to build.
She stares at a blank screen or a blank page for a long while, thinking of how to construct a sentence or shifting through metaphorical file cards in her mind for another word for ‘said.’
She is engrossed in her inner world that calling for her to come have dinner would take more than gentle prodding.
She does her best to put in the words she needs to write for the day, because she believes in the message of the story she’s writing. She knows that there’s someone out there who needs her words, just as the authors she admires have inspired her to live on, to treasure her friends, and to believe in herself.
The writer may enjoy the company of words, but it is no substitute for a friend, someone who understands the wins and woes of writing, or a reader who needs her to not cloister herself too much.
Writing may sound like a dream, but in reality, it isn’t.
It’s solitary, most of the time. The writer is the only one who knows the ins and outs of the world she’s creating.
But it doesn’t have to be anymore.
“You guys make writing less solitary,” I once said to my friends of the A to Z Crew, a Patreon accountability group that my friend KB Meniado started in 2021.
In this group, we spoke about our own creative journey, we shared our problems and little triumphs, and asked each other’s opinions on the plans we had.
My friends were present while I worked on my fourth self-published book, The Things We’re Afraid to Say, with KB too as my editor, so it didn’t feel like I was all alone during that time.
If you want to talk about writing, find people who can understand where you’re coming from, because they too experience or have experienced it. Everyone in the A to Z Crew writes, so we get each other! I’m so thankful for KB, Jay, Nikka, Zheng, Bea, and Janelle, their presence, insights, support, and understanding.
Also, if you want to talk about the personal issues tied you may have that are connected to writing, like episodes of self-doubt where you get hit by a barrage of questions like “Can I be successful in it?” or “Am I good enough?”, find people who know you or who have worked with you before.
I’m just at the beginning of my writing journey. (And illustrating. Haha! Storytelling is the one path I can marry my two loves).
I opened up to my Mom one time about my doubts, and she said to me, “That’s where you’re good at. Why won’t you succeed in it?”
Because when you talk about writing, it isn’t just writing you’re talking about.
There are the insecurities, financial woes, its stability and sustainability as a career, so it helps to open up to someone you trust and who cares about you. They can give you the affirmation you need when you’re paralyzed by your own fears and worries.
With social media, emerging platforms that help creatives get paid like Patreon and community-based ones like Discord, writing doesn’t have to be solitary anymore.
You can share your joys and your sorrows in regards to creation, impart your process so others may learn or teach you something too, and receive support in the form of either kind words or getting awarded with a good project!
Solitude to write is nice, but too much of it can trigger loneliness and disconnection—the very things we try to fight when we’re writing something bigger than ourselves.
To bring ourselves from the desert of isolation and into a vibrant community of people we love, who care about us, and who can teach us, I’ve listed 12 ways to make writing less solitary. I’ve done a few of these already, except for joining writing workshops and contribute an article—two of which I plan to do someday too!
1) Post on your social media
I started using Instagram in 2013 if my memory serves me right. I posted about life and drawings with writings. I posted more actively from 2016 to today.
It took a while for me to share my work, but because of just showing up consistently and enjoying what I did, I got to connect with more people on that platform who resonated with my words. Some of them have become good friends who I learn so much from and who also would share my work on their Stories!
2) Engage with friends who are also creatives
Being a part of KB’s A to Z Crew and Ang Ilustrador ng Kabataan, the first organization in the Philippines that creates and promotes illustrations for children have helped me see that I am not alone in the problems I encounter in this field I chose to be in.
I am inspired by their own stories of overcoming their obstacles and still pursuing what they love. Also, we get to emphasize with each other, because we are experiencing the same things, although they may be in varying degrees of difficulty or with a different set of circumstances and factors.
3) Join the school paper
If you’re still a student, I highly recommend joining the school paper!
I’ve been part of the school paper for my whole academic life (The Insights at St. Joseph College-Olongapo, The Eagle at RSHS III, and The New Builder at Mapúa), and I’ve joined the Sergio Ontuca Summer Journalism classes held at Olongapo City National High School (OCNHS) from elementary to high school with my classmates and friends.
We even had uniforms during summer journalism classes that said “Don’t shoot—I’m a campus journalist!” at the back.
The school paper is a good place to grow with fellow student journalists and to learn from advisers and editors. You get to receive feedback firsthand, to overcome your shyness because you’ll be interviewing people, and to establish lifelong friendships with them even after you’ve graduated.
4) Start a blog
I started blogging when I was in high school, and we had Multiply, Blogspot (Hi, Ate Yumi! Hi, Frances!) Xanga, and Livejournal back then. I used all of them before and met friends there too that I’ve connected again years after! And don’t get me started with Tumblr! I’ve met good friends there too like Denise, Hosea, and Viv!
It was such a more lively place then, just blogging about our lives as these young kids and then commenting on each others’ posts and exchanging blog links. Haha! If only I could remember the URLs of my old blogs, it would be so fun to reminisce.
You can share more of your writing on your blog, and people can comment on your entries too either by saying they can relate to you or they want to share something similar they’re going through too.
It depends on what topics you want to focus on whether it’d be books, games, movies, or reflections!
5) Work with beta readers, proofreaders, and an editor
I’ve never tried working with beta readers and proofreaders yet, but I will someday when I’ll be working on something more expansive and lengthy like a novel or comics.
The first time I’ve worked with an editor was on my Tiny Tutubi stories with KB, and then we worked together again for The Things We’re Afraid to Say. I will never run out of praises for KB, her work ethic, and her editing and reading experiences and knowledge. (You can check more of KB’s work here!)
I didn’t feel alone at all when we worked on my latest book.
When you work with beta readers, proofreaders, and editors, you welcome them into your inner world, and you don’t have to journey alone anymore in that terrain.
You may also want to consider working with 8letters as well! It is an independent book publisher and bookstore here in the Philippines. They offer services like Author Branding, Manuscript Editing, and the like.
6) Have someone in your family read your work
One of my cousins and I would read each other’s work when we finished something. He would comment on mine and vice versa. It’s both a learning experience and a bonding activity!
7) Read your stories aloud
Do you have children, nephews, or nieces? Why not write a story that you can read to them in a storytelling session, either virtually or in person?
One of the best ways to make writing less solitary is to have it read aloud to an audience, and the best audience? Kids!
You get to hear them react or respond to the characters or twists in the story. You learn more of what makes stories ring loudly and truly to them, especially if you want to be a children’s book writer!
If you have Instagram too, you can read your own works (if you’re not comfortable, maybe you can let your readers read aloud your work!) on Stories or Reels. My friend, Fay Sebastian who is also a writer and creative, made TikTok videos of her reading a few of her favorite stories from The Things We’re Afraid to Say!
8) Contribute an article or two
Bookbed, a friendly Filipino book community that KB started and keeps on giving love to, is open to contributions! They provide a platform where creators can share their work for free. Just make sure to read their review policy, and you’re good to go!
When other people get to read your work, it’s like your story is the one making friends. Let them meet new people and be read with fresh eyes!
9) Start a writing prompt challenge
I once shared a writing prompt list on my Instagram (I made my own list for a previous Inktober!) and invited others to join too if they want. One of my friends, Chacha, followed my prompt list too and wrote her own story! It was such an engaging experience, since we both read and commented on each other’s posts during that time.
You can invite your friends who love to write to do a daily/weekly writing prompt challenge with you as a bonding activity.
10) Sign up for writing workshops
You may want to check out the Storywriting School! I’ve seen it before on Facebook, and I am very much interested in taking a class or two someday to further improve my writing.
A Storywriting School class includes a Q&A with Dr. Joem Antonio, a writing teacher, published author and playwright, and an eight-time Palanca Award winner.
It would have been great to join their workshop before the pandemic happened! Though writers may be solitary most of the time, at least we can all be solitary together in a workshop, right? Haha!
11) Work on a story together with a friend
Why not try something fun like writing a story together with a friend or colleague? Or how about you and your friends write different stories and put them all in an anthology?
This reminds me of my second year in high school. My friends and I wrote our own stories on yellow pads and notebooks! We would read each others’ works too and get a good laugh or two. I wrote about my classmates and I having superpowers and joining a contest in another world. My story was entitled ‘Race to the Land of Bliss.’
That was a shared experience and memory with my friends, and I recall it fondly.
12) Join a community like my friend KB’s Discord OK to BE
KB has a Discord, and it’s called OK to BE! Do let me know if you would like to join, so I can share the link with you! She has a Writers Club server there where I get to talk with other members who love writing too!